I’ve only recently realized the impact my family history has had on my work history. My Dad’s struggle with congestive heart failure got me reflecting on his life and the gratitude I feel for him: he is a good man whose family was always his top priority. He was always a good provider.

My Dad worked at Kaiser Steel in Southern California. He was interested in electricity, wanted to work on trains, but ended up the electrical foreman in the Plate Mill at Kaiser, and eventually California Steel, because it paid well. It was hard, dangerous, dirty, demanding work.

I remember the smell of grease in the Renault he drove to and from work every day. I remember the calls in the middle of the night and my Dad talking people through problems. I remember the stories of him trying to find other work but nothing else paid as well and so he stayed.

Every choice that my Dad made was guided by his dedication to his family. Other than a weekly stop for doughnuts and coffee, I know of few choices that my Dad made simply for his own personal pleasure.

Once my Dad retired and then had open heart surgery, he seemed to lose some of his passion for living. As each of his children married and then grand-kids arrived, we all knew that his family remained his greatest joy. But ongoing health challenges have been tough to overcome and it was clear that something was missing from his life.

Why would a vibrant, energetic, and driven man have such a tough time in retirement? And what would this mean for me, a person striving to model and guide others in living full and productive careers and lives?

I had a lot to learn from my family patterns and their impact on my thinking about work. Here are some beliefs about work that I learned:

• Work is hard
• Work means sacrificing your own interests for others
• Work is about surviving
• Work is about making things happen
• The more work you do, the better

My heart bursts with gratitude for the wonderful life my Dad provided for me as a result of his work ethic: a beautiful home, a stable home life, vacation opportunities, a college education.

I also feel a deep sadness as I realize the impact these beliefs had on my Dad, especially once he retired: there was very little personal passion and purpose to keep my Dad engaged and enjoying life. His work was done. While my Dad made great strides in his life beyond what his parents achieved, he also paid a terrible price in terms of his health and lack of ability to experience pleasure in every day life.

I now know that the beliefs I inherited from my family about work are based in scarcity and sacrifice thinking. These kinds of beliefs about work are inherently limiting and result in stunted results of all kinds: money, joy, pleasure, energy, emotional connection, passion, and purpose.

My personal career journey and my work with clients has been one of transforming these “old beliefs” about work into new versions that are abundance based: healthier, soul nourishing, win-win-win.

I now know that better results are achieved by my knowing that:

• Work is fun and easy
• Work is about aligning my interests and others
• Work is about thriving
• Work is about allowing
• A little work, excellently done, is all that is needed

I learned to work hard from my Dad, I still love to work hard, and I also know that I achieve my best and most sustainable results when that hard work is enjoyable and aligned with my personal passions.

The essential shift in my thinking about work started when I realized that my “being happy now matters”. If I wasn’t having fun now, it wouldn’t necessarily happen later. If I was in fear about surviving now, I would limit my thriving later. I learned that “being happy now matters” by watching how my Dad’s life has played-out.

Maybe the terrible price my Dad has paid wasn’t so terrible, if I and others can learn from the gift of his life. So I want to say thank you to my Dad, for the way you have chosen to live your life and what it has taught me. I know you made the choices you did because you love us so very much.

Let’s make the most of the example of the generations that have worked before us! What are the “beliefs about work” that you got from your parents? And how would you like to reframe those beliefs so that you experience “happiness now”? What beliefs do you want to hold on to?

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